Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Naked Man

Do I have your attention? 

Traumatizing story.  Last night on my way home, I'm driving down my block and sure enough, I find a pair of athletic shorts in the roadway and I say to myself, "Hmm, that's odd." and I drive around them.  I actually had to swerve to get around them. 

A couple of blocks later, THE EXPLANATION of those shorts was doing naked little privates-hanging-out  pushups at the corner, one block away from my house. 

I work at the police department people.  I know this guy.  I didn't even really have to look at him (MEANING HIS FACE HIS FACE) and I knew who he was. 

So I reach in my purse, eventually find my phone and call my friends down at the police department.  All I really say is, "Hey...naked guy...corner of *Maplewood and *295th Street." and I also guarantee that they knew who it was, but I went ahead and said, "Is it *Michael...?  Let me see if it's *Michael."  (and there are lots of giggles going on in the background at about this time). 

Then he started running toward me. 


So sure enough, he talked to me about how God wanted us all to be naked and in our true form through my window on my car.  I was on the phone the whole time.  Up for a bit of a religious debate, I partook (just a little bit).  Basically, he was just saying that he was unashamed to be naked and I asked if God loved me less because I wore clothes.  Then he said God wanted us like Adam and Eve.  Then I said that Adam was a sinner.  And he said something about how after he sinned Adam was ashamed.  And my debate was that God gave him that shame.  And everyone was a sinner, so we should all have that shame.  AND God wants us to respect all laws - the laws of Him and the rules of our worldly leaders.  (Be IN the world, but not necessarly fall into the sins of the world.)

THEN I really wanted to just say to him, "*Michael" and I'm hoping at this point that he would have said, "How do you know my name?  I never told you." and then I would have said, "God sent me.  And he wants you to put your clothes back on." 

And that's how I would have solved the world's problems last night. 

I was VERY VERY thankful that my window on my Chevy Malibu is up a little higher than your average mid-size sedan. 

*Names and streets changed to protect the "innocent" and traumatized. 

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