Tuesday, November 29, 2011

We have half a Christmas tree

Well, we tried.  But lately it's just been one step forward, two steps back. 

On Thanksgiving, my whole family came over, right?  Well my sister and brother-in-law decided to stay for some fierce Kansas Black Friday Shopping.  (Yes, people fight over bikes here too.)  Awesome, right?  Our adrenaline was pumping.  We were rockin' JC Penney's like pros.  You would have thought I wasn't even pushing a stroller.  But I was.  I'm just that good

Then after I'd picked out my perfect purchases, I headed up to the counter.  (My sister and her husband were still "rockin'" the sales.  I had to put quotes around it because her "rockin'" wasn't quite as rockin' as my rockin'.)  I put my items on the counter, reach down in my stroller - the same stroller that was so incognito from before because, remember, I'm just that good - pull out my purse and grab my wal-

Crap.  My wallet's missing.  Crap.  (And in case you're wondering, NO, JC Penney's cannot hold items for you on Black Friday because if they did it for you, then they would have to do it to the other 3,287 people in the store AT ANY GIVEN SECOND.  Which brings up the point - has no one heard of fire codes here, people?) 

So my sweet, loving sister offered to take the invisible stroller with my baby girl in it so that I could run home and get my wallet.  IN FACT, she even offered to pay for my purchases and I would just write her a check when we got home.  But no.  I'm stubborn and wanted to pay for them myself. 

So off I go to my car.  I got in and sat down, then I glanced around for some chapstick.  It was totally necessary.  But then I thought to myself, "Self!?  Why are you wasting time putting on chapstick at a time like this?  You need to get to your wallet!  There are deals to be had!"  So I threw my car in reverse and very slowly made my way out of the parking lot. 

Slowly my arse.  Oh, and by the way, there was a monster flat bed Dodge pick up in the space directly behind me.  It totally ate my trunk alive when I accidentally collided with it. 

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE (because that's exactly how I'm looking at this situation, right?  Mm hmm.)  no one was injured (really though, that is a good thing), there was NO damage on the other vehicle...like, none.  At all.  And my baby wasn't even in the car for me to have to deal with while I called the police (totally embarrassing because my husband IS one and I work with all of them). 

So today, in an effort to brighten my funk-tastic mood I've been in since the incident that my husband and I are now referring to as "the wreck", we decided to put up the Christmas tree. 

We bought this tree 3 Christmases ago after we got married.  It was a piece of crap beautiful.  We were pretty close to broke when we first got married.  We bought this Christmas tree for $20 at Walmart if I remember correctly.  Don't get me wrong.  I am grateful I have a Christmas tree.  Some people don't.  And I love seeing the little lights and ornaments on my tree...reminds me of this time last year when I had my beautiful baby. 

The first chunk went on the bottom and looked great.  The second chunk...the lights didn't work.  The third chunk...the lights didn't work.  Ok.  We can deal with this. 

The option that I immediately thought of, the obvious option, was to buy a big strand of lights and cover the top two chunks.  Since my husband is a perfectionist he said that if we do that option then we had to take down the 7,591 lights that were already on there and not working.  Yeah.  Like I was going to help him with that.  And since he wasn't doing it on his own, we moved on to option #2. 

Buying a real tree. 

(I'm sorry, but did the skies open up and angels just start singing?  No?) 

I LOVE real Christmas trees.  But Jacob said, "The needles fall off and Gracie will eat them, plus they're so expensive."  Not sure what his source was on that one, but I've found some for $12.  We would just have to buy "real tree" stand and a can of beer because we don't have either of those things in our house.  :|  

That's pretty fiscally responsible.  Not QUITE as responsible as a $20 tree from Walmart but hey, it got the job done. 

He didn't seem to agree with my logic.  I'll secede. 

The only problem is that what I seceded to is 1/3 of a lit Christmas tree. 

I wish I could tell you that at least we didn't leave it plugged in for the night.  I wish. 

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